Chicago Zine Fest 2014

Well, Chicago Zine Fest was a really great, if overwhelming, time. I guess that’s how it usually goes, right? I shared a half table with Curiouser Jane and we were fortunate enough to sit next to Cindy Crabb (doris distro) and Molly Berkson (and 3rd language distro). So great.

The other reason I keep coming back is that so many people make it to this zine fest. Folks I only get to see once a year, if that, end up at CZF. I’ve been sort of out of the “zine scene” for the past year, and this was the perfect way to get back into it for me. Of course, the other great part was getting all of these zines!

CZF 2014 haul

I definitely have a lot of reading to do.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by my table to buy my zines or trade. It was a pretty awesome day, even if I did have to take all of last night and today to recover. Introvert alert!

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Butch nor Femme #9 is done!

Butch nor Femme #9 cover

Finally, a new zine! If you want to know about some stuff I love (including Vivian Maier, Ravelry, and bowling), you should check this one out. And it’s only $1.00!

And if you happen to be downtown on Saturday (I hope you aren’t, since the St. Patrick’s Day Parade is the worst thing ever.), I’ll be tabling at Chicago Zine Fest up on the 8th floor. Table 130!

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Butch nor Femme #8 now available!

Just wanted to post that Butch nor Femme #8 is finally available. Just check out my Etsy store.
Butch nor Femme #8 cover

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Etsy updated

Just a quick post to say that my Etsy store is finally updated with copies of all of the zines that I am still putting out. That basically means with an e #1 through #3 and Butch nor Femme #1 through #7, with #8 on the way shortly. I’m gearing up for Chicago Zine Fest and finally getting my zine life back into some semblance of order and it feels pretty great. I’ll be tabling at CZF next month (8th floor!), but will probably only have BnF #8 as far as new writing. As always, I’m definitely up for (even) trades. See you there!

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New zine, better stuff

I recently finished up the last of the items that will make up Butch nor Femme #8. It’s been over eight months since my last zine came out, and those eight months have been, well…a lot. I have gotten a new job, been sick (but am doing better than I have been), had one of my cats get very sick and then get better, have gotten through one of the worst times of my life, and gone to Disney World with my partner.

Not in that order.

BnF #8 will include pieces about my health, makeup, street harassment, transit, and I was feeling pretty down about my writing, but I really like what I have. Hopefully, this means I’m on my way to writing more consistently.

In other zine news, I am working on another Disney review zine with Curiouser Jane. We’re still trying to figure out exactly what genres of Disney movies to include, but we’re already hard at work reviewing a ton of lovely and horrible movies.

In life news, I am a few months into my third 365 project. It’s going OK so far. I think it will help when spring gets here; if that ever happens. I am organizing all of my stuff and getting rid of things, which feels wonderful. I’m walking more and wanting to walk even more. I’m very happy to have the life I do.


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Holy shit paying for copies is expensive!

I’m running low on a lot of my zines right now, so I did a little cost analysis and, unfortunately, prices are going up, probably around $1 in most places. Whomp!

If you wanna grab anything before then, go to my etsy shop or just check out my website and email me at with what you’d want.

I’m also open to trades, especially queer, self-care, feminist stuff and folks who reflect on their own messed up behaviors and try to improve. Just email me or message me here.

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So, I’m starting a new job in a week. That is good. It’s great, actually. The awful stress dreams about my current job and not actually having a new job are not great, but I can survive them. What’s stressing me out the most is freaking out about all of the following:

  • I will be dressing up every day for work. Actually, I will be Dressing Up every day for work. This is completely contrary to how I see myself and how I’ve dressed for work for pretty much forever. This also means I need to buy new clothes, shoes, and a bag because I don’t have anything appropriate for this particular environment.
  • I have been shaving my armpits and legs. I am not a shaver at all, but interviews and the disgusting summer heat made it a necessity for me. I’m not sure if I’m going to keep shaving my armpits (That hair is my favorite.), but I’ll probably keep shaving my legs until tights weather hits.
  • I’m probably going to wear a bit of makeup to work every day. I usually don’t wear any makeup. I don’t know if I’m thinking of doing it because I want to / think it would be nice or if I feel like I “should”.
  • I’ll be making more money. I know this is a good thing, but…yeah.
  • I ate meat the other day on purpose.

I don’t think I’d be so stressed about these things if they weren’t pretty much exactly how my Big Bad started changing around the time of our breakup. Of course, she was also going out constantly, drinking and getting high, and only eating out and never cooking, which aren’t things I’m doing.

I know I’m throwing a lot of my neuroses and stuff out there, but…I guess that’s how it goes. And, while these things are definitely on my mind and making me uncomfortable, I am happy about the job-related changes going on when it comes down to it. Here are some of the things I’m excited about:

  • Working 9 to 5. While I would definitely work 8 to 4 if I could make my own schedule, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get up in the morning and have time to do a few things instead of just showering, getting dressed, and running to the bus every morning.
  • Eating breakfast. This is related to the previous one. I have never really eaten breakfast before going to work, so I’m going to try to use the later start time to do so.
  • Doing yoga. The plan is for that to be what I do pre-shower and pre-breakfast. I’ve really fallen away from yoga and it has definitely not been for the best.
  • Getting paid more. I’m not raking in a ton of cash, but it will allow me to be comfortable, which is something I know not a lot of folks are able to say.
  • Leaving my old job. I could go on for days about this, but let’s just say that it was horrible.
  • Getting reviewed. I have not had a review in 8 years. Yeah, I know!
  • Going to Knit Night. I’ll be working a few blocks from my favorite yarn store, so I should be able to go to their knit nights far more often. This is a really, really good thing.

I guess I know I’m not my ex (on about a billion different levels), but this is where my brain has been the past week or so. I know I’m more caring and far better at communicating. I know that I am not my job. I don’t want some sort of “nicer” or more upper class lifestyle. I am not running away from anything, be it where I live, the people around me, or who I am.

Hell, I love where I live, the people around me, and who I am.

So, I guess I’m writing this mostly to be accountable to myself to not turn into some horrible person and maybe to have other people bring it up if they see my behaviors changing. I know I’m a good person and will continue to be one, even if I do look like the million other drones riding the L to the loop in the morning.

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I’m currently moving all of my these-probably-shouldn’t-be-on-my-work-computer files onto a shiny new USB drive. Closing up shop here is weird. I’ve been here almost 8 years (and have been relatively miserable throughout most of that time) and now it’s over. Four more days (if I count today).

I can hardly make sense of it.

I keep having stress dreams where I actually don’t have another job lined up. Like it was all an elaborate hoax. That the offer letter I signed and sent back never arrived, so they assumed I wasn’t interested after all. This is all ludicrous, considering how thorough and communicative they have been during this entire process. But, you, now, I’m still worried. Worried about chance and worried that I won’t be able to do this job. After this long feeling like I’m wasting my time and like I’ll never find anything else, I don’t really know what to do now that I actually have something new.

The files are almost done being copied over. And I’m almost done here. I’d be happy if I actually believed it.

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On Thursday, Curiouser Jane and I will be headed east for DC Zine Fest this weekend. Of course it’ll be 102 degrees when we get there, but I expect nothing less when I travel. I haven’t been to DC in years and years, so it’ll definitely be nice to be a tourist for a few days. Our plans are to check out some of the many free museums, write and read in cafes, and eat yummy food. I’m looking forward to visiting with Jenna and hanging out with a bunch of Chicago zine folks, too.

In honor of DC (or, more truly, in honor of having a deadline because of DC), I’ll have a new zine. It’s Butch nor Femme #6 / Your Secretary #12. Jami and I have talked about doing a split before I ever wrote my first zine, so I’m excited to finally have this little zine out. And I do mean little: 32 pages, 1/8 size. I wrote about each of the 18 people I’ve kissed. I forgot four different people and had to rework the zine a few times after I thought it was done, but I think it came out well. Jami talks about writer’s block and reading tarot, along with some thoughts about a relationship that ended. I’ll post a picture once we have them put together, since we’re laying it out tonight, I’m printing out copies tomorrow during the day, and we’re putting them together tomorrow night.

Nothing like cutting it close, eh?

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Today was my 33rd birthday.

I grabbed breakfast with Dalice, then we stopped at my bank on the way to enjoy one of the Adler Planetarium’s free days. I’ve been sick for days now, so we took a break between shows at the planetarium to have a drink. The cafeteria overlooks the lake, and it was pretty gray and sad.

Lake Michigan, looking gray, from the Adler Planetarium

So, I took pictures of Dalice (and her tattoo) instead.

Dalice's tattoo

We ran to Old Navy and the Disney Store for a second, then headed up north to the Chicago Diner for dinner with Dominic. After that, we wandered around The Container Store and wasted some time in Crate and Barrel until our bus came. I was dying to get home, but I have to admit that I’m glad I was able to see this sunset.

Sunset, looking west on North Avenue

Once we finally got home, I laid around watching the last two episodes (ever, apparently) of Big Love. Dom did some chores and then hung out on the couch with me.

Dominic at home

Now, we’re watching 9 to 5, so I’m pretty happy, or at least I would be if I could shake this awful cold. I have to admit, though, that it’s been a pretty lovely day.

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